Blood Is Thicker Than Tonic-Water: Part Two

This is a continuation of an "interview" of my family in regards to boardgames. You can find Part One here. My mother had just avowed her dislike of games like "Panzerblitz" and "Jutland".

Colin: My mother has leveled serious charges against some games near and dear to your heart.

Dad: Let's just say that the world stopped rotating when Avalon Hill stopped pumping out World War 2 hex-and-chit boardgames. And I'm just wondering when a respectful amount of time has passed for them to start pumping out Panzerblitz-type games about Fallujah.

Colin: That's a thing already. One I remember is called A Distant Plain.

Dad: Really?

My father seemed genuinely intrigued at the idea of a War on Terror hex-and-chit boardgame, and I explained to him what I knew of the game. My brother unhelpfully suggested several other historical events which could get a boardgame treatment-- they were so tasteless that I won't repeat them here.

Dad: I would echo your mother's sentiment that the names are off-putting. You say "You wanna play a game called Love Letter?" and I go "No, I don't!" A game called "Luftwaffe" and I know what I'm getting but you call it "Silk Scarves In The Air" or something and I don't know.

Colin: I don't think they'd call a game about the Luftwaffe "Silk Scarves In The Air". And you ended up loving Love Letter! So is there something juvenile, then, in some of the names?

Dad: I don't mean to be insulting but yes. "Flat boardgame with hexagons and colored pieces" I'd play that! I know what I'm getting.

Colin: Now Mom mentioned some games she liked, do you want to shit on a couple of those like she did with your favorite games?

Dad: See as much as I like [Firefly: The Card Game], the thing I don't like is the cooperative aspect. If you aren't chosen to go on a mission you're just sitting there talking.

Colin: That may not be a matter of it being a cooperative game, though, that's a matter of downtime. In game design, downtime happens whenever a player isn't being given a choice to make-- remember in Game of Thrones when everyone is placing order tokens? There's no downtime because everyone is doing it at the same time. Compare that to resolving battles or fights in Game of Thrones, where you can just check out while the people fighting choose their cards and stuff.

Dad: And you guys don't like what I do with downtime. I use my phone. I multitask. What was that game where you pushed a part of the game--the die under a clear plastic bubble--you'd press it and it'd go "pop"?

Brother: Sorry! had that.

Colin: I think there is something kind of absurd about you preferring games like Panzerblitz and Jutland AND Sorry!

Dad: Well [Sorry!] moved quickly and you knew when it was your turn.

Colin: It just seems like a strange split.

Dad: Because when you're playing with the "pop" game you are drinking and talking--

Colin: You're drinking during a game for eight year olds?

Brother: I don't remember this part of our childhood.

My father pointedly ignores our observations.

Dad: You have to remember I played Avalon Hill alone. I could play it alone, and work it out. Setback is a social game I like too.

Mom: You're terrible at Setback. I'll tell you what it is, it's a math thing, you hate math.

Colin: But in something like Panzerblitz you're calculating things like enemy firepower, your firepower, ammunition type modifiers, elevation or entrenchment-- they've got a hidden stack of chits you need to guess-- so there isn't a small amount of math happening there

My mother threw up her hands in frustration.

Mom: I can't explain it.

Brother: Explain it, Pops.

Dad: The most fun I had [when I was a kid] were the two or three day Jutland games where I had a friend come over and we'd clear out the living room. When you'd get too tired to continue playing you'd talk about what strategy you'd use the following day. We were nerds. We were big nerds.

My mother was still trying to fogire out why my father is terrible at Setback.

Mom: --and by the way, you hate Setback.

Dad: I love it.

Mom: But you're terrible at it.

Dad: I hate being assumed that I'm the dead weight at a game of Setback!

At this, we piled in. My father is a notoriously hit-or-miss and inattentive card player. And among my kin, the cardgame Setback has nearly religious significance at family gatherings. So this is a sticking point.

Colin: But you are terrible.

Brother: And there's a way to shirk that moniker. Like paying attention during the game.

Dad: I pay attention!

A silent, judgmental disbelief filled the room.

Mom: I think he does it to just piss people off.

Dad: I don't do that.

Brother: Besides, everyone here has feigned being non-invested just to piss off the competitor. It pisses off the other side to pretend not to pay attention.

Some merciful instinct kicks in and I attempt to avert the patricide going on.

Colin: So I want to get back to what Dad was saying about--

Brother: I know that's what you want.

Colin: It is what I want.

Brother: What about what I want? I've had diarrhea for four days. And it comes out cold. Is that normal?

Dad: He's writing that down.

Brother: The people must know.

Colin: I want to get back to Avalon Hill, Dad, because that doesn't sound like something your father would just get for you. What drew you to those games in the first place?

Dad: I was always interested in World War 2 history. I was fascinated by it. I was fascinated by the generals--my father had told me about the Dutch Resistance--but I think I'd have been interested even if he hadn't told me that information. I read everything World War 2. The televisions shows I watched-- I found out [a family friend] taped episodes of the shows I watched! We watched Rat Patrol when your mother and I visited him! It was disappointing to watch the shows of my youth, actually, but [the family friend] liked it. Rat Patrol and F-Troop. It was a friend of my family growing up--and older brother of a friend actually--who turned me onto Panzerblitz. At least 4 years older than us. Watching them play was like "holy fuck, you can do this, you don't have to just read about it" that was a real eye opener. And then I went and spent my money on these games. And when I traveled with my father on business I'd--like you, Colin--look for the local gaming store. It also gave me something to do rather than interact with my step-mother.

Colin: So the games were a means for you to keep accessing your love of World War 2. Was the game fun on its own or was it just its connection to World War 2?

Dad: the thing about Panzerblitz is there were 20 odd scenarios and the winning conditions weren't zero-sum. Have more of this or less of that by turn something. So you could be the Russians with donkeys and cards and you'd still have a chance against the Wehrmacht if you met certain win conditions-- I liked that. I liked that you could reconfigure the boards too.

Colin: So you didn't feel limited to just what was in the box or in the manual.

Dad: You could play the scenario, you could read the history of what happened-- or you could try something different. And with Jutland-- absolutely freeform. No board. And you didn't know who would battle until the search phase. You might have all your battleships against a tiny cruiser group and on turn one they move out of the field of battle and you're back to the search phase. Or maybe you hit the main fleet.

Mom: You have to understand we grew up in the time when there weren't video games. Pong was introduced when we were in high school and even that was a little bit mind numbing.

Dad: I played [Pong] for hours...

Colin: So I have to ask, because you're talking about loving the really open and free nature of Jutland and the expandability of Panzerblitz-- why has something like Dungeons & Dragons never hooked you? It is essentially infinitely expandable.

Dad: For the same reason that Call of Duty and FIFA capture me but Halo and Red Dead Redemption and Assassin's Creed don't capture me. Isn't that just a sign of my age and my generation?

Colin: That answered nothing.

Dad: Well Call of Duty is close to what is actually in the news--

Colin: That's false.

Dad: --FIFA I can play as Doug Flutie.

Brother: Also false.

Colin: But I'm getting your point that you do want to connect it to something real.

Dad: Yes, absolutely. In FIFA I love manager mode. You only play when you wanna play, otherwise you are shuffling players and managing ticket sales.

Colin: I think it is interesting because Assassin's Creed is more historical--for lack of a better term--than the latest Call of Duty games. [The Assassin's Creed games] are revisionist history rather than speculative. Call of Duty has moved past its World War 2 thing and really is like sci-fi. This whole "secret history" thing Assassin's Creed does strikes me as something you might like.

Dad: I would play if you gave me the chance. If you ever got off the system I would play.

Colin: Fair point. [Brother] do you have anythig to say about boardgames?

Brother: Like you would write down anything I said.

Colin: I would not.

Dad: I think our family uses games the way a hillbilly family uses a fiddle.

Colin: That seems like a good sentiment to end on.

Blood Is Thicker Than Tonic-Water: Part One

Casual Interviews: Blood Is Thicker Than Tonic-Water

Sometimes, one needs to dig for the truth. Like an archeologist bravely plundering the sacred objects of some poor native tribe, I must delve the dark countries of the uninitiated for some sweet kernel of perspective. Too often the culture of games and gamers gets a bit myopic-- it is an echo chamber in which some things can go unheard in a cacophony of what has already been said.

And so I have left safe lands for the most dangerous of regions; family. My family members are not gamers by any traditional stereotype. They do not aggressively pursue news about boardgames the way I do, nor eagerly await the release of some second printing of an old classic. In practice, they are open-minded which makes them invaluable as a sounding board for a topic like this.

With a vodka-tonic firmly in hand, I made sure my mother, father, and brother had been drinking before I started the interview. And I started off as simply as I could.

Colin: What is your favorite boardgame?

Mom: I really like that boardgame you introduced to me over Mother’s Day--I don’t remember what it was--but I liked that. I’d play it again.

Colin: Shadows Over Camelot.

Mom: I think one of my favorites is Settlers of Catan. It’s very easy and it has different levels of complexity so you can start someone off with it [...] Some of them you know what you’re getting into, others-- I understand but... I don’t know. I know that I don’t know a lot about games and the culture, but I think that you guys tend to make it within your culture. A lot of the games you’ve introduced, the name just turned me off. You’ve always convinced me “No, try” and you’ve always been right.

Brother: I know with [my friends] if you tried to get them to play Eldritch Storm or Ascension...

Colin: Elder Sign.

Mom: I know I look at some of the names and I just cringe-- but then I play it and I’m like [excited] “oh my god!”

Brother: But we reduce every game. Like [Ascension] we reduce it. Once we’re playing, we’ve reduced it to the competitive, to the strategic aspect.

Mom: A lot of these games you’re not gonna see on TV, you’re not gonna get a window in the store. [Dad] do you remember when we were growing up? You’d see commercials for boardgames all the time! Do you remember? Now can you imagine seeing one on TV?

Colin: So the name is important?

Mom: I see the names of like Descent and Ascension and they’ve got pictures of horrible creatures on it-- what’s the one is it Descent?

Colin: It isn’t something I think about it, actually, now that you mention it.

Mom: I know, but I think about it all the time!

As critical as my mother seemed of the single-target demographic she perceived in boardgames she was quick to defend them as a valuable tool.

Mom: I can’t tell you how many times me and your father had to go to Parent Teacher Conferences and defend you and your brother playing Warhammer and D&D. [...] When your old teacher came to us about you playing Warhammer, when we told him how much math was involved. I was like “do you know what kind of math these kids are doing”? That’s when he came around to it.

I should note she was referencing my middle school math teacher, who had contacted her and my father with some concerns regarding my gaming habits. Being a deeply religious man teaching at a Catholic school, my teacher thought that my love of D&D and Warhammer Fantasy Battles was spiritually unhealthy and practically detrimental to my development as a young man. Credit where credit is due, my mother changed his mind on both accounts.

It was around this time my brother interjected regarding the theming of certain games-- a theming that was sometimes difficult for an audience like my mother. His was a defense of the game.

Brother: But I know that we reduce it. [When we played Ascension] we weren’t talking [Rune symbols and Fight symbols] we were talking symbols like triangles and circles. We reduced it to its most elemental form.

Mom: Which is what they don’t do.

Brother: But they can’t, they have to do window dressing when they’re playing to [the traditional gaming demographic]. We only play with the parts because we want to win. We’re a competitive family.

Mom:: I know my brother Jeff played Settlers of Catan and he liked it, and I know my other brothers and sisters would like it but the names really turn them off and shut them down. It’s you that’s stopped me from being that person.

Brother: No. No. Don’t write that down.

Despite my brother’s insistence that I not immortalize a compliment from our mother, there was a repeated theme. As unappealing as the theme, name, or artwork of a game could be, the gameplay itself was often a saving grace.

I tried to steer the conversation back onto what someone like my mother--familiar with certain boardgames but not the culture at large--looks for in a game.

Mom:  I shouldn’t say I don’t like fantasy because I like some fantasy based games. For me its economic stuff it makes sense to me, you know what I mean?

At that point my brother leaned over and held down the ‘w’ on my keyboard.

Brother:  I’m helping

I tried to catch up and fix the ‘wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww’ while my my mother talked and my brother sat back with his bourbon. Some duty specific to older-brothers had been satisfied, apparently.

Colin: So the economic aspect resonates with you because you recognize it in your life?

Mom: Now that you’ve asked that question that is exactly why I like it. I’m trying to think of the games I like. I like 7 Wonders, and you’re trying to get stuff and its economic. [...] And maybe that’s what why I like Settlers of Catan, you have to earn stuff and you have to get stuff and that’s how it happens. [...] I really like The Firefly Boardgame, it makes sense. You have to try and gather all this money so that you can do all those steps to complete a mission and its really-- its you alone in a game

Brother:  You know he’s paraphrasing you, I would demand editorial cut.

Ultimately, I think the conversation had helped renew my mother’s interest in boardgames and gaming.

Mom: We need to do game night again. I’m really desiring that now. But honey you have so many games I know I’m not giving them all relevance, I know I haven’t played them all. I think you’re-- if we could figure out how to get people involved, you are a great person--

Brother: Stop saying that.

Mom: I still think that Warhammer had one of the best models. You go in there, you can come in and play their games, it makes you want certain things. You guys got stuff for your battles and then there was Game Day Convention-- that’s what’s missing [from most boardgames]. It is like boutique marketing, I think you guys could capture so much more. I have to tell you, I hate games like Jutland and Panzerblitz.

At this, my father cringed. Those are his two favorite games.

Next week, Part Two!

Into Something Rich And Strange - When To Ignore RPG Rules

Roleplaying games are one of the iconic activities of the nerd world, much in the same way eating zebra is one of the iconic activities of the lion world and accidentally eating mothballs is one of the iconic activities of my yesterday. Lately in the tabletop RPG community, there has been an overt push to get new players into wonderful imaginative games of murdering half-sentient creatures and stealing their stuff.

And as with any influx of new blood, there is bound to be a resurgence of old arguments. Harrowed from their dread barrows, these timeless sources of rage and logical fallacies descend on the unwashed masses. But fear not, brave newcomer to these slightly unhygienic lands, a dashing paragon has appeared to guide you! Me.

Please stop crying.

This blog will focus on some of the broad points regarding the function of the Game Master and some practical advice on how to make it easier to run a roleplaying game. The purpose of these articles is to help improve your game, because I've spent decades playing make-pretend and I'll be damned if it goes to waste.

Note that these posts will assume certain things from the reader (hi mom!); first, that they already know the basics and broad-strokes of how roleplaying games generally function, and second, that they are interested in improving or just trying out the role of Game Master.

What Does A Game Master Do?

At first pass this is an easy one-- most roleplaying games will define the purview of the Game Master somewhere in their pages. They are a referee, a book might say. They are an arbiter, another chimes in. Indisputably, a Game Master needs to be familiar with the rules of the game they play. I recently had the displeasure of looking back at a game of FATE I ran for my own group where I had not adequately boned up on the rules.

It was an absolute mess. Anarchy reigned. Widows wept and rent sackcloth in twain.

Okay, But What Does A Game Master Do?

You're asking the hard questions. The Game Master is not a robotic referee, which is to say, they do not unthinkingly apply the rules as they are unilaterally. And this is where I diverge from some of the published material out there-- I believe the larger part of being a Game Master is, in fact, not applying rules. The maths-machine of many roleplaying games was designed as a kind of one-size-fits-all, and it is the function of the Game Master to attenuate rules to fit the needs of their particular group.

Below are three basic tenants of this GMing philosophy.

Rules To Live By Or At Least Just Guidelines Really I'm Not Your Boss After All

1) Have A Reason To Ignore A Rule: While it might be easy to intuit this, the application can sometimes be harder. "I don't like it" may not be a good reason to ignore a rule. Unsurprisingly "my players don't like it" may not be a good reason either. Players, after all, tend to dislike rules which disadvantage them-- that doesn't make those rules bad or ill-suited.

Game Master David Duchovny is considering throwing out a rule in D&D 5th Edition, namely, the encumbrance rules. Even though Game Master Patrick Stewart swears by them, Game Master David Duchovny decides that the consequences of an over-encumbered character are not really that interesting-- and compared to the bookkeeping they entail, don't seem worth it for his group of players.

On the other hand, Game Master Stephen Fry is going to ban the Warlock class. After thinking about it, he realizes he only wants to do so because one of his players--Alex Rodriguez from the New York Yankees--won't play anything else and Game Master Stephen Fry finds that tiresome. Since banning Warlocks for everyone seems harsh when his issue is only with Alex Rodriguez, Game Master Stephen Fry instead opts to talk to Alex Rodriguez and explain that he should consider a different class for variety's sake.

2) Think About The Impact Of The Rule: The more fundamental the rule--that is to say, the larger the cog in the maths-machine of a game--the more consequences there will be if it is ignored. This is perhaps one of the best indications that you may have picked an inappropriate system for your group. If you find yourself changing many of the core mechanics of a game--for which the ramifications may be broad--then perhaps a different system is called for entirely.

Game Master Daniel Radcliffe wants to replace the use of 2d6 with 1d12 as the core resolution mechanic in Dungeon World. It doesn't impact things like how modifiers are added, how damage is rolled, or other mechanisms of the game system. Game Master Daniel Radcliffe is probably alright swapping out the dice if he is willing to do the work necessary to account for the change in probability it represents.

On the other hand, Game Master Sir Arthuer Wellesley Duke of Wellington wants to remove Fate Points from a game of FATE, believing that one's ultimate destiny is the work of God Almighty and not some game mechanic. Since Fate Points are the major currency by which players can affect the game world, and interact so often with other core mechanics like Aspects and Skills, perhaps Game Master Sir Arthur Wellesley Duke of Wellington should look at a different system than FATE.

3) Be Ready To Ignore The Rule Again: This hearkens to something implicit in #1; the need for consistency. Consistency is what players crave, because so many of their decisions rely on previous interactions with you. When a Game Master is not consistent the world they are ostensibly ushering into their players' head is fickle. And fickle rhymes with pickle and not everyone likes those.

Game Master Sally Struthers did not make one of her players roll an Arcana skill check to identify a magic item, figuring that the player's character would be familiar with items made by her own tribe. Game Master Sally Struthers is prepared to allow that character to identify ALL such magic items without a roll, so long as they were produced by her tribe.

On the other hand, Game Master Ric Flair did not require an attack roll when one of his players attacked a sleeping Goblin. Later, the same player feels uncomfortable and annoyed when Game Master Ric Flair requires an attack roll against the Goblin King (who had been subjected to a Sleep spell). From now on, Game Master Ric Flair's players may not know what to expect when attempting to attack sleeping NPC's.

There, three guidelines with the easy mnemonic "HARTIARTATIOTRBRETITRA".

Ultimately, all these guidelines are driving at the same point. The major advantage tabletop roleplaying games enjoy over media like boardgames and videogames is that they are privy to all the creativity, foibles, and nonsense that human nature drags with it, at the ground floor. The Game Master is using rules, not enacting them and therein lies the rub. Roleplaying gmaes don't just want you to get some friends together to make a game-- they want you to get some friends together and make a game yours.

I'm out.